DS9: The "Tito Jackson" of Star Trek

So there are five original Star Trek TV series. There's the original, The Next Generation, Voyager, Deep Space Nine and Enterprise. 

Each series addresses a specific element of creator Gene Roddenberry's vision. One deals solely with social issues, another is about calculating risks. But they all have an important part to play in the world of Trek.

Well, most of them. 

The Next Generation and Voyager are obviously the "Michael" and "Jermaine" of the series respectively. TNG shines much brighter than the other with a captain who is the epitome of a great leader and a strong subset of important characters. Voyager's sparkle is a bit less bright, but is still a great second because of the story's innovative fiasco resolutions. Plus, the late addition of the Seven of Nine character gave the series a much-needed reboot that sparked a whole new generation of fandom.

Enterprise is the "Marlon". You kinda remember it. Nothing interesting. Pretty to look at. But it just kind of fades into the background to hold up the stage props. Coulda stayed home.

And then there's Deep Space Nine. Crappy, nonsensical Deep Space Nine. The "Tito" of the group. For lots of reasons.

A. The series' tone is completely off-key. It's the written version of that one guy at the karaoke bar who thinks he's amazing but actually sounds like a werewolf on crack. 

B. It's cast of characters are boring. I don't even remember what they look like, really.

C. Captain Sisko confuses violence with relevance.

D. They don't even leave the damn space station! 

It's like someone said "we need a new Star Trek series, but we have no budget, no creativity and no message...hey, lets call this crap 'Deep Space Nine'.  

Sigh. I can't even.



Recent Post: Respect the Trek

Glad I'm Not the Only One

Tiny House World and Gozilla Fest

So I don't know if this is a worldwide phenomenon or if it's just the new stateside obsession, but we are suddenly in love with the "tiny house" movement. 

Click here for the full ep.

The US has 4 series that I can think of that are dedicated to the tiny house trend.  There's Tiny House Nation, Tiny House World, Tiny House something-something and that other one with the one lady who talks too much.

I'm so obsessed with these properties. They're beautiful and completely modern, and perfect for one or two people. You can pretty much place the plot anywhere, so scenery is your choice. No mortgage, home equity up the wazoo, and low, low home expenses.

I'm watching Tiny House World. This Australian couple...they're looking at this beautiful new 600 sq ft tiny house...which is WAY bigger than the 250 sq ft US versions...it has these floor-to-ceiling windows and tons of tech conveniences...and they're complaining about the lack of room. They're practically whining about the size.

And the wife. Oh. My. God. Like nails on a chalkboard. Right now, she's going off about how the house is $30,000 and they only wanted to spend $10,000. Granted, I can only understand every 3rd word they're saying, but I know "whiny" when I hear it.

TEN GRAND!? Over here, lawn mowers cost ten grand! Ten grand is a down payment on a new car. I know that Australian and US economics & finances and stuff are different, but for us $30k for a tiny house is insanely cheap. And again, "tiny house" for us is basically a doll house. Nothing near the scale of what I'm seeing on this show.

I've binge watched 4 episodes thus far and have been seriously considering taking my moolah and investing in one of these cribs. 

So I am trying to watch this show and meanwhile my house looks like the reenactment of the ending to every Godzilla movie ever filmed.

I could really, really see myself living in that kind of solitude.  

Peace and quiet and solitude and a view. 

Oh, and wifi.

And no spiders.

Seriously. If I see a spider in my shiny new tiny house, it's getting torched.

The ol' "Shifty Eye"

"All inclusive": Free booze and sunburn wherever you turn.

So I'm sitting in the corner of a hotel lobby in the Dominican Republic, kneading my sunburn and cursing myself for not using sunscreen earlier today. 

Sitting in the corner of any given crowded room gives you an awesome vantage point.  

Case in point: I'm watching this married couple waiting in line to check in to the hotel.  She looks tough. They're like every American sitcom couple. He works 80 hours a week and golfs. She complains about life and cooks meatloaf on Thursdays.

Yeah, that couple.

A slender/blonde/attractive (take your pick...they're all the same, right? #bittermuch) woman walks by.  My eyes dart back to the couple because I'm nosy and I want to read both the husband's and wife's reactions to this ostentatious disruption of reality.   

The wife is busy checking her purse for something, so she's missing all of the action.  The husband, however, is immediately aware that a hottie is in his field of vision. He does a quick glance, and we know what's going to happen next.  He's going to find some way to look again and take in her entire being, then he's going to store all that data and quickly return to whatever he was pretending to do.  But it'll be sooo smooth and quick. 

I love this part. I call this highly-evolved, stylized cognizant method of ogling "The Shifty Eye". It should have it's own theme music, really.

Okay.  It's about to go down. As I'm texting this, he's already turned away from his wife to "check his texts". Now, let's observe how smoothly he pulls it off...

This is awesome. It's like watching a NatGeo promo with the driving background drum beat and the way-too-serious voice over guy...

Okay, he's "texting"...and "texting"...aaaaaand 

BAM! He pulled it off without a hitch, ladies and gentlemen! He just glanced up very directly at the hottie, practically mentally undressed her, stamped the image and stored it in the appropriate folder in his brain and returned to "texting"...all within like 5 seconds.

I seriously want to put down my phone and write "10" on my napkin and hold it up for him, but I don't want to call him out and disrupt his natural habitat. I wish I'd recorded it.  It's a thing of beauty, really.

Seriously. Men are amazing creatures. Whenever a man pulls off The Shifty Eye, it's like watching the marine biologist guys try to catch a whale on camera. You know they're going to surface at some point. But to watch it in action is awesome.

They think they're so slick and shady. But really, this is proof that they're only as slick as the length of rope their spouses give them. Tthe wife is still busy getting their papers or credit cards or whatever's in her ridiculous giant purse, so she isn't minding the environment. The woman is completely unaware that a private fiasco just went down. 

Men are great social chameleons. They'll be whatever you want them to be, as long as the room's colors don't change too quickly and give them away. 

People watching at it's finest. Cheers!

What I Bought
Hotel Riu - Punta Cana
Aftersun Aloe Vera Gel (only available at stateside CVS's)